Why we ALL should learn about relationships

Regularly, people ask me why I do the job I do and how I became a relational coach and mentor. I do understand why: there aren’t that many of us and it’s a calling, really. But the question also leaves me perplexed every single time. As if it were strange to want to help people create and sustain healthy relationships. Would you ask a driving instructor why he teaches? Or a physician why she treats? Or a mechanic why they fix?

What I do is — and I am — indeed unusual. To me, that is strange. Because relationships don’t “go without saying”. Healthy and harmonious relationships take skills and dedication. I believe that, just as we all learn to speak, eat, walk, read, write, swim and drive, so should we all learn to relate, love and be intimate. And don’t even get me started on learning how to make love. Our relationships are — or could be — the most precious, the most fulfilling and the most evolutionary aspects of our life. Why were we never properly taught?

Authentic Communication; the art of being honest and kind and Boundaries and Consent work ; the art of saying ‘NO’ to allow the birth of a real ‘YES’ are the two primary and essential pillars of all relationships. Divine Sexuality ; the art of making love as a mean to emotional and spiritual evolution is the backbone of deeply rooted, deeply invested and deeply fulfilling amorous relationships.

Persian Khorassan rug — Animal Garden design — Peacocks — early 20th century

Why did I become a relationship mentor? Because it is my deepest belief and my deepest joy that I can contribute to making the world a better place by teaching people to feel safe, to feel what they need and desire, to dare to express that, to listen for that in others, to open up to your own vulnerability and the vulnerabilities of others, to offer support instead of blame, to be Present instead of being in Performance, to think and feel and behave outside of the box we suffocate in. Relationships are the threads from which our societies are woven. If those threads are healthy, colorful, strong, flexible, made of good materials and skilfully and harmoniously woven, so are our societies. So are our inner and outer worlds.

I dream to create — with you — a world where the qualities and skills of kindness, authenticity, transparency, friendship, vulnerability, unrestrained love, playfulness, divine sexuality, innocence, softness, rest, slowness, deeply felt forgiveness and gratitude are taught, respected and cultivated as essential elements of our living and loving together.

Here’s a simple practice to start with — or to continue — this work. I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Find out more about Haya and her treatments here.


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